Dados do Trabalho

Title

Experiences of couples about keeping or not the secret about the pregnancy with egg donation

Objective

Investigate the experiences of heterosexual couples about whether or not to keep a secret to the child about the adoption of a heterologous egg in treatment of in vitro fertilization.

Methods

This is a qualitative, exploratory research, with multiple case studies. Three heterosexual couples aged between thirty-six and fifty-two years participated, in which the children were conceived by in vitro fertilization with egg donation, using homologous sperm in the treatment. Data collection was carried out based on the indication of contacts and two sociodemographic forms and two semi-structured interviews were used about the experience of maternity and paternity in the context of assisted reproduction with adoption of a heterologous egg. The interviews were conducted online and synchronously, being recorded and transcribed for later analysis. The results were raised from the thematic analysis, being organized from two axes named "maintenance (or not) of secrecy in the social scope" and "desire to reveal (or not) to the children".

Results

Two couples had disagreements about telling or not in the social sphere and whether or not they wanted to reveal the egg donation to their child. Couple A kept the egg donation only among the nuclear family, talking only about in vitro fertilization to family members and close friends, fearing the repercussion of their decision and judgment in society. In this case, the woman had no intention of telling her daughter, while the man did, feeling secure in the presence of his genetics. Couple B revealed about the egg donation to people close to them, but they did not reach an agreement to reveal to their children about how they were conceived, having kept documents that prove the pregnancy as a way of ensuring parenthood by reaffirming it biologically. In this case, the woman questioned herself about what would be the right time to tell, while the husband explained that the revelation was not important to be carried out, since she had carried the twin children. Only couple C agreed to tell and they had already told about the egg donation, both socially and for the child, explaining that family secrets could harm the relationship with the child. In this case, both worked in the area of assisted reproduction and gave lectures on the subject, understanding that the child already knew how it had been conceived.

Conclusion

When experiencing infertility, a narcissistic wound opens up, weakening the trying couple. When faced with the possibility of egg donation, they embark on a new journey, filled with doubts. The question of whether or not to tell the child about the egg donation seemed controversial for some couples in this study, requiring more time and dialogue between the spouses. The way in which each couple faces the issue of disclosure is marked by the subjective experiences of each spouse along the trajectory in search of the much-desired pregnancy, making it important to listen to each case in its uniqueness.

Keywords

egg donation; couples; in vitro fertilization; parenting; secret